30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 17 - Choose Trust or Love

I choose trust.

If you are spending your days stalking his FB wall and trying to interpret why someone liked a picture.  If you are hacking into his email and intercepting messages.  If you know the code to his voice mail and forward messages to your own phone for "proof".  If every other night you and your girls are suited up in black hoodies and Tims and patrolling the neighborhood to see where his car is parked?  That's not love.  That's obsession.  Seek some damn help.

It's a waste of time if you are spending yours worried what someone is doing.  They obviously aren't wondering if you are sitting at home worried about their behavior.  They are out there getting their life! You better go get yours.

Trust is a basic building block for love. You don't have that? Expect your shit to be shakier than a glass house during a F5 tornado.

If you don't trust your partner, you stay in a place that is unhealthy for both of you. There is no way the relationship can flourish if one person is ALWAYS questioning the intent of the other.

Staying with a person that you don't trust isn't always about love anyway.  It's about co-dependency.  It's about enabling.  Sometimes it's about control. (See KeKe Wyatt on R&B Divas for reference.) That's not a happy situation for any of the parties involved.

A person who says that they love you, but continues to do things that demolishes trust is an emotional abuser.  If their words and their actions don't match it might be time to back away.  Even if it's just for a little while.

So yeah, I choose trust. If I can trust you, I can love you completely. If I can't, there's always going to be something in the way that prevents our relationship from growing.  And if we can't grow together, we don't need to be together.

I know it's never that simple. Believe me I KNOW that it's never ever that black and white. But there comes a time when you have to make decisions that are best for your emotional health. And stepping away from a situation that turns you into a stealthy stalker just may be one of them.

Trust.