The hardest thing I've ever experienced is marriage. Staying married is hard work. I really don't think folks realize that. That is all.
Friday, February 8, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 5 - 5 Things That Make Me Happy
I'm not sure how it happened, but I missed a day.
Thursday I was supposed to do 5 things that make me the most happy right now. So, I guess I'll do that today and act like yesterday never happened. LOL
OK, so I'm probably the happiest I've ever been in my life. Let's raise the roof for prayer and meds people! Anyway, I'm so happy that it's kind of hard for me to just list 5 things.
1. My son's smile. That gap toothed smile is the most amazing thing to me. When I see his smile I know that everything is right with the world. I know that I'm doing something right. I know that he is okay. His smile brings me so much comfort. I don't know what I would do if he ever stopped smiling.
2. Jeans that fit. When I find a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly in the butt and hips. Well, the only thing I know how to do is dance a mean little jig of thanks. Length is still an issue, but we are talking about things that make me happy.
3. Fruit Roll Ups. Every now and again I go on a high fructose corn syrup binge. Sometimes it's Haribo gummy bears. Sometimes is apple Jolly Ranchers. These days it's those amazing sheets of sugary goodness. I can't get enough of them. I'm eat 3 right now.
4. Manicures and pedicures. There is nothing better than being pampered with a good mani/pedi. I usually get the paraffin treatment when I go. That hot wax totally helps ease joint pain. The other day I went with oil and honey. Amazing moisturization there folks! Amazing! I also got a gel manicure for the first time. I have no idea what took me so long to try it, but I won't be doing anything else ever again.
5. Qdoba queso. I'm convinced the stuff is created from the very best cheeses and bound together with angel tears. It's just that amazing.
There you have it. The 5 things that are making me most happy at this very moment.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 4: 10 Things You Would Tell Your 16 Year Old Self
10 things that I would tell my 16 year old self? This one is hard. Mainly because I barely remember what I was doing 20 minutes ago, let alone damn near 20 years ago. But I guess, I'll try...
- Don't stop running. Ever.
- Do not take your abs for granted. You won't have them forever.
- Yea, he's cute...but he's not the reason your world should turn.
- Explore your options.
- This is it homie. You won't be getting any taller.
- Study. You won't be able to bullshit your way through college like you did high school.
- Be nice.
- Smile.
- Don't be afraid to try something new.
- Stay away from high heels. Your ankle will thank you later.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 3: Describe Your Relationship With Your Parents
Well, I'll be damned! The people who come up with these challenges have got to be the nosiest sonsabishes that there ever was!
Anyway, my relationship with my parents is good. I mean, they are my parents. I don't have any deep seeded hatred or ill feeling towards them because of the way I grew up. I leave all that stuff for Lifetime movies.
My parents did the best they could with what they had. They raised four pretty decent citizens of the universe. Nobody has any major charges and none of us has spent more than a few nights in the clinker...
That's it. No drama here. I love my Mama and Daddy. They love me. The end.
Anyway, my relationship with my parents is good. I mean, they are my parents. I don't have any deep seeded hatred or ill feeling towards them because of the way I grew up. I leave all that stuff for Lifetime movies.
My parents did the best they could with what they had. They raised four pretty decent citizens of the universe. Nobody has any major charges and none of us has spent more than a few nights in the clinker...
That's it. No drama here. I love my Mama and Daddy. They love me. The end.
Monday, February 4, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 2 - 3 Legitimate Fears
What exactly does legitimate mean in this case? I mean, if I'm afraid of something it's legitimate to me? Why I gotta spend my time trying to prove to people why my fear is real? That's silly.
But I guess if I want to participate in the challenge I've got to play nice. *sigh*
I'm afraid of a lot of things. This happens a lot with people who suffer from anxiety I think. If not, and I'm an anomaly, then sit me down somewhere and study me. Like I said, I'm afraid of a lot of things. The fact that I have to narrow the list down to 3 kind of frightens me. I'm terrified of all of these things equally. I don't want it to seem like I'm playing favorites and then something that I didn't mention comes along and shuts me down.
Let's get this over with.
Fear #1: Possums. I don't know where this fear came from. I just know that it's real. There is something about encountering a 4 foot long rat with sharp teeth and zero damns to give that changes your life forever. I ran into one on my parent's back porch back in 1995. The son of a bitch stood up on it's hind legs and hissed at me an then looked at me like I was the one that wasn't supposed to be there. As I was running away, I swear I heard him say, "When you come back make sure you run me my rent." I moved out of my parents house that day and I haven't been back since.
Fear #2: Creepy Kids. Children of the Corn murked something deep down within my soul. Since I saw the first 10 minutes of that movie, I can no longer tolerate kids with creepy voices, creepy faces, creepy clothes, creepy hair, or anything else that I would consider creeptastic. Y'all can keep all that scary stuff over there with you. Give me a fat, juicy baby that can't talk. Or a teenager that cusses and has a bad attitude. But those in betweeners who always seem to float and get possessed by the devil? No ma'am. You wanna see me cry? Have one of the little girls from Mama say hi to me. I guarantee I'll have a wet face and wet pants. I'm not for that mess at all.
Fear #3: I am deathly afraid of deep water. I don't know how to swim. I don't care to learn. I don't like to float. I don't like the way waves feel against my body. I hate feeling out of control and there is nothing that makes me feel like that more than being submerged in water. I mean it. The last time I was in water of any depth was when I got baptized. And when I tell you I held on to the preacher tighter than a fresh weave on the first of the month? Child please. I don't play those drowning games. He really could have just splashed some water on my forehead and called it a night.
So, those are 3 of my fears. They may seem crazy to you, but they are legitimate to me. Good night.
But I guess if I want to participate in the challenge I've got to play nice. *sigh*
I'm afraid of a lot of things. This happens a lot with people who suffer from anxiety I think. If not, and I'm an anomaly, then sit me down somewhere and study me. Like I said, I'm afraid of a lot of things. The fact that I have to narrow the list down to 3 kind of frightens me. I'm terrified of all of these things equally. I don't want it to seem like I'm playing favorites and then something that I didn't mention comes along and shuts me down.
Let's get this over with.
Fear #1: Possums. I don't know where this fear came from. I just know that it's real. There is something about encountering a 4 foot long rat with sharp teeth and zero damns to give that changes your life forever. I ran into one on my parent's back porch back in 1995. The son of a bitch stood up on it's hind legs and hissed at me an then looked at me like I was the one that wasn't supposed to be there. As I was running away, I swear I heard him say, "When you come back make sure you run me my rent." I moved out of my parents house that day and I haven't been back since.
Fear #2: Creepy Kids. Children of the Corn murked something deep down within my soul. Since I saw the first 10 minutes of that movie, I can no longer tolerate kids with creepy voices, creepy faces, creepy clothes, creepy hair, or anything else that I would consider creeptastic. Y'all can keep all that scary stuff over there with you. Give me a fat, juicy baby that can't talk. Or a teenager that cusses and has a bad attitude. But those in betweeners who always seem to float and get possessed by the devil? No ma'am. You wanna see me cry? Have one of the little girls from Mama say hi to me. I guarantee I'll have a wet face and wet pants. I'm not for that mess at all.
Fear #3: I am deathly afraid of deep water. I don't know how to swim. I don't care to learn. I don't like to float. I don't like the way waves feel against my body. I hate feeling out of control and there is nothing that makes me feel like that more than being submerged in water. I mean it. The last time I was in water of any depth was when I got baptized. And when I tell you I held on to the preacher tighter than a fresh weave on the first of the month? Child please. I don't play those drowning games. He really could have just splashed some water on my forehead and called it a night.
So, those are 3 of my fears. They may seem crazy to you, but they are legitimate to me. Good night.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 1 - 20 Random Facts
OK, so I'm supposed to list 20 random facts about myself. This should be easy, I'm the most random person I know.
1. I'm a speed reader. I've been honing this skill since I was a kid. Not because I have a thirst for knowledge, but because I have a ridiculously short attention span and I need things to get over with quick.
2. I can identify most songs within seconds of them starting. I don't know why or how. I just can.
3. My head is full of random, useless information about everything from pop culture to past US Presidents. One of these days I'm gonna wreck shit on Jeopardy.
4. I suck at remembering names and faces. But I always remember what a person was wearing. Always.
5. I've been cursing like a sailor since the 70's.
6. I live my life like it's a musical. Every important moment is assigned a song and occasionally footwork.
7. I've never told a real joke in my life, but lots of people think I'm funny.
8. I cry everyday.
9. I'm afraid of possums, heights, and deep water.
10. I require 8 or more hours of sleep daily. Anything less results in a piss poor attitude and Arnold Drummond hair.
11. My inner fat girl's name is Zenobia. She is the boss of me.
12. I always talk about drinking, but I honestly rarely drink alcohol (once maybe twice a year). I don't like feeling out of control. I also like being sober enough to be able to recall all shenanigans and tomfoolery exhibited by drunk friends.
13. I have committed my life to living out the following mantras: "Everyone is an Unsub" and "Stranger Danger is Real."
14. I read at least one book a week.
15. I hate white dress shoes, Wal-Mart, tardiness, ashiness, and bad feet.
16. The quickest way to my heart is to make me laugh.
17. I think I'm 6 feet tall.
18. I collect premium denim, vintage handbags, frogs, funny t-shirts, and shoes.
19. I dance like a old white lady.
20. It may not seem like it, but I'm the nicest person you know.
1. I'm a speed reader. I've been honing this skill since I was a kid. Not because I have a thirst for knowledge, but because I have a ridiculously short attention span and I need things to get over with quick.
2. I can identify most songs within seconds of them starting. I don't know why or how. I just can.
3. My head is full of random, useless information about everything from pop culture to past US Presidents. One of these days I'm gonna wreck shit on Jeopardy.
4. I suck at remembering names and faces. But I always remember what a person was wearing. Always.
5. I've been cursing like a sailor since the 70's.
6. I live my life like it's a musical. Every important moment is assigned a song and occasionally footwork.
7. I've never told a real joke in my life, but lots of people think I'm funny.
8. I cry everyday.
9. I'm afraid of possums, heights, and deep water.
10. I require 8 or more hours of sleep daily. Anything less results in a piss poor attitude and Arnold Drummond hair.
11. My inner fat girl's name is Zenobia. She is the boss of me.
12. I always talk about drinking, but I honestly rarely drink alcohol (once maybe twice a year). I don't like feeling out of control. I also like being sober enough to be able to recall all shenanigans and tomfoolery exhibited by drunk friends.
13. I have committed my life to living out the following mantras: "Everyone is an Unsub" and "Stranger Danger is Real."
14. I read at least one book a week.
15. I hate white dress shoes, Wal-Mart, tardiness, ashiness, and bad feet.
16. The quickest way to my heart is to make me laugh.
17. I think I'm 6 feet tall.
18. I collect premium denim, vintage handbags, frogs, funny t-shirts, and shoes.
19. I dance like a old white lady.
20. It may not seem like it, but I'm the nicest person you know.
30 Day Blog Challenge
I haven't been writing as much as I should, so I was looking for another blog challenge to rev me up. This morning my friend Miss.Lady over at Grace Under Fire posted this one and I've decided to roll with her. :-)
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