Well, that 30 Day Challenge was and epic failure. I can't even give a valid excuse for why I didn't complete it. I just didn't. I guess you can call me lazy. I don't mind that judgment. I am lazy. I'm the laziest person you know. If I have to pick between sitting very still and exerting no energy and doing something productive... doing nothing wins every damn time.
Anyway, these days I've been suffering from an upper respiratory infection. I'm not sure what causes this kind of condition, but I'm going to blame it on the people that I work with. Not because I think they are contagious. Just because I like blaming stuff on them. Co-workers are the best scapegoats for when shit goes wrong in your life. You can blame them all day long and they will be none the wiser.
I'm supposed to be resting right now. But that's the gotcha gotcha. When somebody tells me to rest, I'll find every reason not too. So I guess that makes me the most stubborn lazy person you know. You can judge me for that too.
I hate being sick. Being sick messes with my sunny disposition. When I'm sick I get mean. I gripe, I snap, I cuss, I kick (only once, and that nurse was being rough so...) So the odds of you getting cussed (that's country for cursed y'all) all the way out are pretty high. Don't take it personally. It's just a caustic combination of hormones, meds, germs, and me. Some folks would call that a Kavorkian-like cocktail. I call it "shut the hell up and leave me alone before I hurt your feelings and we all end up in tears."
My husband and my son are used to my shenanigans when I'm unwell. In fact I haven't seen either one of them in about 72 hours. They are avoiding me. This makes me sad. Not really, they'll pay for it later. Knowing that makes me happy.
I'm not evil. I'm just sick.
I'm all stopped up. I'm mouth breathing like Biggie Smalls. I can't hear. I'm dizzy. I'm sneezing. This is not a time in my life that makes me feel like smiling. It's all because of my coworkers.
If I'm mean to you, blame them. If I flip you the bird for smiling, blame them. If I cut you off in traffic, blame them. If I trip your loud, obnoxious kid in the grocery store... blame me. That's all me.
I'm starving. I'm probably the only sick person in the world that gets hungry instead of losing her appetite. I've been eating chips, salsa, pizza, candy... It's a problem. But this always happens. I get sick and I gain weight. I eat more when I'm ill than I ever do when I'm feeling okay. So I guess this means I'm the hungriest, stubborn, lazy person you know.
Whatever.
Well, that's about all I have today. My mind is all over the place. I didn't even share the most random things I came up with. You would really think I'm crazy if I did.
When this fog clears I'll read this and probably give a big ole WTF, like you are now.
Until then I'm gonna stay hopped up on meds, OJ, and apple Jolly Rancher sticks. And maybe a 5 Guys burger and some fries...
